Through the Porthole

Its hard to say goodbye. For 5 years, Jaala was my home and for 8 years Spruce Harbour is where I lived. In April 2010 my family made a sudden move to Ontario to be closer to family (you can read about it at http://mothersmilk.ca/content/transition). A hard decision, but the right one. We left behind a wonderful life, but are heading towards a new one filled with family and old and new friends. So this page is a tribute to my old life. I loved it. Cherished it. And miss it. But it will always be with me and my kids and one day we will return.

So – here is my old introduction about my life on a boat and some info on my old home.

This is my life. I am a mom, wife and writer living on a 48 foot sailboat.

People, it seems, are intrigued and mystified that my husband and I are raising our family on this floating structure. I know this to be true – friends ask a lot of questions and strangers stand on the seawall and watch my daily routine.

Sure, the space is small and there are some pretty obvious dangers (hmm, like the water surrounding us!) but there are so many positive elements to this life style.

Are you scratching your head and wondering what could those be? Well, for starters, we live in a coop with 55 other live aboard boaters. Everyone, in their own way is incredibly helpful. Like the nurse who fixed my finger after I sliced it open. Or the babysitters who can walk over at a moment’s notice. Or the dock parties where my kids interact with people of all ages.

And, the children have learnt to use their imagination in so many unique and fun ways. Instead of playing “dress up”, my kids play “let’s fix the engine”. The lines and halyards have become climbing equipment. And let’s not forget, we can vacation from the comfort of home.

It took a while for me to adjust to this life. In the early, pre-kids days, it was romantic. You can imagine, we would sit in the cockpit and listen to the rain pounding down on the hatches. We would sail away for a romantic weekend to some anchorage. But the lack of space and the battle of the mould was difficult to get use to.

After the birth of my first child, came a bigger boat. That is when I spent a great deal of time gazing out of the portholes. When I felt I was the only person awake at 2:30am, I found it comforting to look out and see lights shining on shore. During February rainstorms, I enjoy gazing out at the seawall, watching the people run, walk or jog on by. While sailing, I can see the ocean – real up close! No matter the time of day, there is always some activity and something or someone to watch. Dragon Boaters, joggers, otters and seals.

I love looking through my portholes and watching the world. Read on and see how a family of four, plus a dog lives on a sail boat in the middle of the best city in the world.

RoShamBo (formerly called Jaala) is our home. She is a Custom Kennedy 48.  We bought her in December of 2005, when Lucas was just 3 weeks old (we had been living on a Maple Leaf 42 called Volantis).  Tim and I chose the name RoShamBo (rock, paper, sissors) as this is how we resolve our differences  (ie “… let’s roshambo for it… the loser has to change the baby.”).

A little bit about our home:

RoShamBo was built in 1978 in Campbell River BC.  She is one of 4 and was built after the 8 Kennedy 48′s that Charlie Kennedy built.

RoShamBo is a center cockpit cutter. She has a small pilot house leading in the main salon.  Galley is athwartships, forward of the mast, with Lucas and Aidan’s room (they sleep in bunk beds) forward of that.  Head is to port, under the cockpit with a full stand-up shower.  Passage to the aft cabin is to starboard and includes access to the engine room. The salon is large and includes a table that drops into a bed and a much slept on settee.

Most asked Question – “How do you raise kids on a boat?“

The kids know RoShamBo to be home and she is the only home they have ever had. So when asked, how to the kids manage – its not the kids who need managing. Its the adults. The kids love their home and spend hours hanging from the lines, halyards and handholds found everywhere.

The kids know:

• how to put on a life jacket
• when walking around on deck -  one hand for you, one hand for the boat
• how to raise and lower the main, and that it is best to have the main rigged up when leaving an anchorage or dock, just incase…
• how to move on a boat

As our kids get older, it is becoming easier to get off the dock. At first it was hard. How do you manage a boat and a baby? For a tip – see my page called “favourite mom things”. But since, we were dedicated to this life, we found ways to untie the lines and get out on the water. We also found anchorages that suited having a family – see my article in Pacific Yachting under “My published works”.

While our dream is to head offshore, we are not there yet. But, we are sailing. A few years ago, when Lucas was 10 months old, we spent 6 weeks circumnavigating Vancouver Island and last summer we sailed up to Desolation Sound (Lucas was 1.5 and Aidan was 10 months). This summer was spent in the Gulf Islands.

We love our boat and our lifestyle.

Some old writing to go with the old lifestyle

My Mother’s Day Wish

I grew up in a family where Mother’s and Father’s Day was not celebrated with gifts from stores or brunches at restaurants. In my childhood home, these days were acknowledged with home made breakfasts and specially hand crafted drawings. They were acts of love.

For me Mother’s Day does not mean a whole heck of a lot. For my first Mother’s Day, all I wanted was a day off of diapers. Same for the second, third and forth. Now I am onto my fifth and here is what I want:
1. My daughter to sleep through the night
2. A night where my husband and I share our bed together – and alone
3. Coffee in bed and the chance to read the newspaper – cover to cover
4. Kisses from my two monkeys
5. A day off of diapers

I know it won’t happen this weekend as we are visiting family and celebrating a birthday. But, then again, Mother’s Day can happen at any time. Mine will happen. If not this year, then maybe next.

And maybe, just maybe, I should have the husband read my blog…

The New Reality
This was summer 2009:

.

And this is summer 2010:

Where have we landed and how did we get here? Where has the water gone? Why is my husband mowing the lawn? How did we go from less than 500 square feet to over 1500 square feet? Watch and learn. Follow us as we learn about our new city. As we make new friends, find the best park in the city, and learn to live without the ocean. Kingston, Ontario… We are here

Where Frogs Come From

The other day my husband pulled a out a tool he needed in order to fix our engine. Eager to be of assistance, Lucas ran over and asked if daddy needed help. Beaming with pride, my husband answered in the affirmative. With the authority of a master toolsman, my son said to his father:

“daddy, I know what this tool does.”

Responding Tim said, “That’s great Lucas, what is it.”

“Daddy,” he said, “it makes frogs.”

“Frogs Lucas? Are you sure.”

“Yes daddy. It is a Ribbet Gun. It makes frogs.”

Mustering all his strength not to laugh out loud, Tim kindly corrected our little boy. “Sweety,” he said. “This is a Rivet Gun, Not Ribbet.”

“Oh, then daddy, how are frogs made?”

Fall is here

There is no denying it, fall is upon us. For landlubbers, that may mean raking leaves, cleaning the gutters or putting on the woolies. For us nautical types, the ones who live on boats, that means a whole lot more. My living space is being reduced by half as it is too cold to sit on deck at night and gaze at the stars. The teak and holly floor is cold and so I must bring out my fleece socks (www.polarfeet.com). And the battle of the mold has begun. It is a war I lose every year and yet it is one that must get fought. Other words for a live aboard sailboat are… large vessel where mold grows. The house of mold. Mold hotel.

And then there is my other favourite aspect of fall and winter – condensation. You haven’t seen condensation until you have lived on a boat. I never gave condensation a second thought and I still forget about it until… Until it is 3:00am and that cold droplet of water decides to fall off the window above you and land square in the middle of your forehead resulting in a high pitched squeal which wakes the hubby out of a deep sleep and causes the dog to bark which wakes the kids who both start crying and with that one droplet, my peaceful night has ended. Maybe tonight Tim can sleep under the window.

Goodbye Norton Young

One of the best aspects of living in a small co-op is that you know almost everyone. This can also be one of the harderst aspects. Earlier this summer the marina lost a lovely lady to cancer. Today we lost a salty dog to the same disease. Norton was a founding member of the marina and, together with his wife Louise, have called Spruce Harbour home for over 20 years. Norton meant a lot to me and the kids. He loved my children. He made sure I had life jackets for them. He came to our swimming lessons to watch their progress. He played with them, carried them and watched them grow. I will miss seeing him on the docks, hearing him at the board meetings and watch him tinkering with his cars.

Volantis

The other day, walking my dog along the False Creek seawall, I saw my old boat. She was sitting quietly at anchor in the creek. I had to stop and stare at her; secretly hoping I would catch a glimpse of her new owner. I didn’t. I stood there for a long time, remembering our time together. The hardtop my husband had built. The trip up the Juan de Fuca. Night at anchor. I was happy to see her and see how good she looked. But, I was also sad, she had treated us well and we had simply outgrown her. So our reunion was bittersweet. Almost like bumping into an old boyfriend. Nice to see him again, but glad he isn’t yours.

Desperately Seeking Chocolate

Like many women, I fight a constant battle with my body shape. I wish I could workout a bit more and lose a few pounds. Its an ongoing war, but not one I take too seriously as I like to eat and I hate to run. However, I have never considered myself an emotional eater. That was until today.

Tim left today for a pleasure/business trip for 12 days. And I ate in order: 1 cadbury orange chocolate bar, 2 waffles with syrup, 2 english muffins with bitter and cheese, one apple, a bowl of fruit, one hamburger, and 10 chicken wings. Yikes! Oddly enough, with each bite, I missed him a little less. Double yikes.

I hope his travelling days are numbered as if not, my waistline will be one big number.

Those Crazy Summer Days

I’ve been away for awhile. Headed back east to do the quarterly “grandparent tour”. Well, was once quarterly, now is three times a year. Not sure how often it will be once we have another ticket to pay for. Anyways, as I was saying, I have been out of touch for almost 3 weeks. Limited internet access. Little cell coverage. Huge adjustment to make for me. But, after a few days of technology withdrawal, I came to enjoy it. Emails could wait, blog posting were for another day, twitter and facebook fell by the wayside. It was family time. And I loved it.

Take a look. This photo is of me knee-boarding along the St. Lawrence River. You can’t really see it, but I am grinning ear to ear. I hadn’t knee-boarded in almost a year when this photo was taken and it will be another year until it happens again. That is ok with me, as the next day I ached. But when this was happening, I was laughing.

I am a mom, and more.

There are days when I doubt myself. Did I make the right decision to be a stay-at-home mom? Should I have stayed in the workforce and juggled a career I didn’t enjoy and my family? Put that way, the answer is glaringly obvious. Family first. Dreadful career second. The money will figure itself out. The first year was a dream. Mommy and Lucas did everything together. We played, had lunch with other moms and babes and basked in the mother-child glow. Year two and Lucas went to daycare 2 days a week. Mom gained some sanity back and tried to enjoypregnancy two. Year three – two kids and a tired mom. I am now almost four years into this gig and there are days when I want to quit. Not another day at the park. Science World again? Please no more trips to Granville Island. I want to throw my hands up in despair and yell out – I can’t do this anymore. I need more than diapers andplay dates. I need to think beyond the next meal. I fear I am losing myself and my ability to re-enter the workforce.

And then Lucas does something incredibly adorable and Aidan pulls at my pants to be picked up and I think – seriously, what am I complaining about. I have the best job in the world. I have the opportunity to raise my children. To watch them grow and develop each day. I may get bored. The kids may get annoying. But they are mine, everyday. Well almost everyday, both do go to daycare two days a week so I can focus on my new career and highly enjoyable career, writing. At the moment, I am happy. I hope I have found balance.

Help Needed

Is there anyone out there that can help me? My kids are crying. My husband is hungry and I am frustrated. Every single chocolate chip cookie I make is tastless. Beyond tasteless. How can it be? I follow recipes – well for the most part I do. Do I need more butter? Do I really have to mix the flour, baking soda and salt in a seperate bowl? Am I skimping on chocolate chips? What is going on here? Better yet, are there any fabulous recipes out there I should be trying?

A lovely soul has passed away

Today is a very sad day at Spruce Harbour Marina. Before I write more, let me say, we are a small, close knit group of people (about 110) who live on our boats, year round. So, when bad things happen to one of us, we all feel the pain.

Yesterday, Cheryl Meszaros lost her battle to breast cancer. While I never knew her well, she was a person I admired and enjoyed seeing. She could easily light up any room with her quick wit and her lovely personality. Cheryl, your battle was short but you fought it bravely. I will miss you.

My heart goes out to the people she left behind. Ivan, I hope you have the strength you need in the coming days.

Another member of our community is languishing in hospital, having suffered a stroke. Norton has always had a soft spot for my kids. He has watched them grow, has come to swimming lessons and has made sure they know boat safety.

My community is sad today.

Relaxation – only 90 minutes away

The entire 90 minute drive I was thinking, “what have I done? Am I nuts? Will I survive? Maybe I should just turn around.” A plane flight without the hubby is one thing, but a mini-vacation, that is an entirely different scenario! My kids don’t listen to me at the best of times. How was I going to manage in a new place without Tim? Was this going to be fun or complete anarchy?

Luckily I was in for a suprise. The kids actually behaved themselves, but I don’t give myself credit for that. The nod belongs to Harrison Hot Springs. This place, in my mind, is the ideal kid-friendly getaway.

From Vancouver, the drive is not too long for the kids (we broke it up by visiting local farms and buying freshly picked berries). The village itself is small, has limited car traffic and has plently of shops and restaurants. We spent most of our time in water. Lots of water. We played in the lagoon, we rode the bumper boats and we soaked in the hot springs. When we were tired of feeling like prunes we visited the Arts Festival at Harrison Hot Springs (it helped we timed it to be there during the Children’s Day). This festival is in its 31st year. The shows were awesome and there were plently of activities for the kids. We even made slime (which by the way easily comes out of car seats!).

I would have to say, the highlight were the hot springs at The Harrison Hot Springs Resort and Spa. The kid pool has a slow incline and the water is warm, but not too warm. There is also a lap pool and an adult only hot spring pool. The staff are fabulous and the rooms are generous in size. Believe you me, I will be visiting again and writing more about this place! I can’t believe it took me 14 years of living on the West Coast to find this place.

Oh and by the way, I this is my first blog! Ever.